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God For President

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially announced His candidacy for the U.S. presidency. During His press conference today, the first in over 4000 years, He is quoted as saying, “I think I have a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together in time. I’d like to get this country turned around; I mean REALLY turned around! Let’s put Florida up north for awhile, and let’s get rid of all those annoying mountains and rivers. I never could stand them!”

There apparently is still some controversy over the Almighty’s citizenship and other qualifications for the Presidency. God replied to these charges by saying, “Come on, would the United States have anyone other than a citizen bless their country?”

— Author Unknown